Tough Love
by sonnymunroe
Summary: It's hard for Chad to keep the issues in his life bottled up, especially when it's effecting him from the closest person he's supposed to have in his life. The only thing he can turn to is things that stop him from being sober. Chad wants to let out his anger, but keeps it personal. Sonny see's that Chad is struggling one day, and tries to help. Does this bring them closer?
1. Chapter 1

hey guys, sorry about the other story. i'm working on it, though it's hard for me to finish, i've been thinking of other scenarios, plus i've been working pretty hard considering i'm graduating high school in about 3 months :o .. anyways, enough about me. i've decided to make a new story, and i'm hoping you'll like it just as much as i do.

* * *

I strolled into the studio, my phone in one hand, along with my shoulder purse hanging off my shoulder. I was carrying a latte Tawni picked me up from starbucks. She followed behind, holding powder a mirror in front of her face, looking at her complexion, as she observed each angle of her face. She held her coffee in the other hand, keeping no focus at all. She hasn't been watching where she's and I can already see someone about to bump into her in 3 seconds. 3 , 2, 1.

Her mirror dropped, as did her purse and coffee, "Ugh! Jerk!" She yelled at the man walking still, after her items fell from her hands. I rolled my eyes,

"Tawn, this is almost a daily occurrence," I kneeled down, picking up her things that fell out of her purse and placing them back into her purse, along with the mirror, "you think maybe you could wait to look in the mirror when we get to the lot." I handed my latte too her, as hers spilt on the ground. I grabbed a wet floor sign from beside the trash can that was behind us, and put it where the spilt coffee was. She fixed her hair, and brushed it off. She sipped the latte, clenching her lips at the unworthy taste that I had set it up with.

I glared at her, before she could speak, "Sorry I prefer less sugar." I stated. She tossed the latte in the next trash can we passed, and adjusted her purse.

"Fuck, I guess we're just gonna have to get cafe coffee instead." She sighed out, as we walked down the north hall.

"You know, back in Wisconsin no one at my school ever liked cafe food, and I didn't get it, because cafe food really isn't that bad." I said cheerfully. I put my phone in my purse, as we began to reach the doors of the cafe.

"You poor poor soul," Tawni tapped my shoulder in sympathy. My eyes glued to the ceiling from her smart ass remark. Tawni removed her large lensed sun glasses, and placed them over her head as we entered the cafe. It appeared to me that Chad was the only one in here along with Tawni and I, and I could already feel bad vibes as his snooty comments were already forming into his head. His eyes moved slowly, as he stared at us both then proceeded to making up his food.

Tawn sat down at the two seater table, placing her things down. She pulled out her circular powder mirror, and proceeded to look at herself before the day begun. "You know what I like." She commented, suggesting for me to go make her coffee.

I laughed, "S'cuse me?" I started to walk to the buffet table, "I just about gave up my latte for you, and you're telling me to make your next coffee. You're lucky I'm nice, bitch." I glared, before turning around the enter the commissary.

I grabbed 2 large cups, placing them under the roasted coffee machine. I pressed a button for it to fill up for me, and I turned my head, seeing chad as his stance was wobbly, and he was quiet without a word,

"No insults this morning?" I asked, in a joking, and sarcastic manner.

He laughed, but kept his focus on his toast that he had been buttering. It was a slow buttering process, and his knees kept giving out. I raised my eyebrow, turning back at my coffee cup, and seeing that it was full, I put the next cup under it, then pressed the button again. A stench of vodka travelled under my nose, and I could tell it was coming from behind. The cup finished and I grabbed both of them, and walked to the table beside him where the sugar was located, with the milk and other necessities.

I looked up at him, observing his appearance knowing of course the smell is from none other but himself. His lips were chapped, and his skin looked pale. I'm confused and a little worried, I grabbed the sugar in one of the tins that was on the table, and poured it into the cup,

"I think this is the quietest you've ever been," I said in a sarcastic voice.

He shrugged, and looked at me, as I looked at him, "Take a picture, Munroe" he said in a muttered, and whispered speech, almost as though he couldn't get it out. The blank second of looking at me was enough for me to notice his bloodshot eyes, and dark circles under them,

I grabbed his arm, and had him face me, "What's up?" I asked, confused at his appearance, and the way he had done himself up today. His tie wasn't properly tightened, and his dress shirt was wrinkled. His appearance was haggard. He rolled his eyes,

"Personal shit, I guess." He said in a hoarse, raspy voice. I was in shock at to how he took care of himself this morning. The usual flipped hair, and spiked sides wasn't properly attended too, and it put me in a different mind state at to how he was doing. I guess I never really thought about his personal life, and how he's a human being too with issues of his own. He comes off as everything's perfect in his life, and I never stop to think he could be dealing with life difficulty.

I stuttered before I spoke, as I looked at his beat up posture, "I-I'm here to talk," I stated in a concerned manner. He laughed slightly, and nodded,

"I'm fine," he let out a soft burp from his throat, and smiled slightly before leaving. I watched him as he left, keeping his head down at his tray of food, and one hand placed in the pocket of his khakis. I looked down at the coffee, proceeding as I thought about the encounter I had just dealt with. Should I involve myself? He seems out of whack and definitely out of place.. This better not bug at me all the day...

**Chad's P.O.V**

I opened my eyes to a blurry view of the ceiling. It adjusted slowly. My hand was placed behind my head and the other was holding the last of my Texas Mickey of vodka. I sighed, as I adjusted myself up from the couch. My head was pounding. I can't take another night of my mothers drunken stupors, mixed with mine. I placed my hands upon my eyes, yawning into my bottom palms, and closing my eyes into the top of my fingers. I reached over behind me, grabbing the little bit of vodka that was left in the bottle. I twisted the cap off, throwing it behind me, and taking back the rest. I clenched my teeth, as it burned the back of my throat, and I threw the bottle behind me as well. My head was spinning at a maximum speed, and my stomach was burning of alcohol and acid. I reached upon the coffee table, grabbing the pack of smokes I had sitting beside the ashtray. I lit one up, and smoked it as I sat back on the couch, and woke myself up, looking around.

I finished the smoke, putting it out in the ash tray in front of me. I stood up from the couch, and waltzed my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, observing the dark circles under my eyes. My stomach turned at my appearance. I shrugged, fixing my tie but hardly putting in the effort I usually give. I had the feeling of failure, though I had failed nothing. I shrugged at fixing myself up at this current time.

I stepped out of the bathroom, and grabbed the phone from the off the table, along with the keys that belong to my car and house. I might as well get something to eat before this dreadful day starts. I couldn't keep a steady walk, no matter how normal I felt inside my head, the outside was just an obstacle course.

I made my way inside of the commissary, putting toast in the toaster, coffee down and cereal to pour as well. Two familiar women's voice were heard outside in the hallway, and I prepared for any socializing that I may have to encounter. I don't even want to speak. Blondie and Munroe walked in, as I felt a vibe empower over me. I couldn't explain what vibe, but it felt like a safe one. Why might that be, I don't know. I turned my eyes towards them where I made a swift eye contact with Sonny. She kept talking to Tawni, as they both bitched about something that's not going to matter later on anyways. Man sometimes I just want to tell Tawni to stop whining about everything in her life. Then again, who am I one to talk. Somedays I could be that way too, but at least I'm aware. I kept these thoughts going on in my head, and couldn't focus on what was in front of me. The spins were getting to me, but I could get through it.

Sonny walked up from behind me, at the coffee machine. I grabbed my toast, and began buttering it. I half assed it, but I really don't care I just need to eat, "No insults this morning?" She said jokingly. I fake laughed, and proceeded what I had been doing. My throat is sore, and talking is to only be worth it.

She finished pouring the cups of coffee and I could see her perceive my appearance. She grabbed the sugar packet, flicking it, as she looked at me. "Take a picture, Munroe." I was annoyed but my voice was sore, and if I had said it any louder, I know she would get worried, and bring herself into my business. After looking at her, her expression differed. Looking in her eyes always makes me nervous. I grabbed my things after looking at her, and attempted to walk the other way, but of course she grabbed my arm,

"What's up?" she tried to look into my eyes, but I had to look away. No one needs to know my personal issues, and I won't be telling anyone even if it's my weakness.

"Personal shit, I guess." it hurt to speak as clear as I attempted, and my head was pounding from the pressure I put upon myself to speak. I could hear my rough voice on her end, and I could see her eyes changing perspective.

She told me she was here to talk. I smiled.. I need to hear that but I won't take the offer. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper for fuck sakes. I don't need to be giving out details about my personal life to one day end up on the tween weekly. I'll solve my own issues even if it means binge drinking for 3 days straight. I told her I was fine then proceeded to take my tray of food back to my dressing room. Maybe I'll gain some energy today and clean myself up for the next rehearsal after today. I could feel her watching me as I proceeded out of the commissary. I kept my head down, and kept to myself. I needed to focus on walking in a straight line, and playing it cool.

**Sonny's P.O.V**

A while after making Tawni and I our coffees, and running into Chad, I decided to go back to the dressing room before rehearsal. I pulled out my studies from class, and read up on a new chapter were reading in math on pi and sigma bonds. I sighed, as I read upon all the equations drawn out on the page. I couldn't focus though I was deep into thought about Chad. It was weird seeing him that way. It's not everyday someone as cocky, and arrogant as him is weak and frail, and showing it.

I took a moment to realize I was in a daze, and not even studying. Knew this was going to effect my day. Ugh. I stood up, putting my book of studies down. I grabbed my phone, looking at the time. Rehearsals are in an hour. I could make it to the other lot in time to check up on him, and then come back. Maybe see if talking could help. I'm good at getting peoples feelings out and on the open. It's a piece of cake. The door opened and Tawni came through with Zora and Nico. Nico was eating a sandwich, and Zora was holding a yo-yo. I'd better socialize before running out,

"Hey guys!" I waved as they came in the door, and I put the rest of my studies away,

"We were think-" Nico choked, then coughed, as he took a bite of his sandwich upon attempting to speak to me. I stared at him, a little disgusted as to why he didn't just finish the sandwich instead of grossing me out,

I put my hand up, "Tawni, care to talk before Nico chokes to death?" I laughed a little,

She rolled her eyes, "We were thinking of going out for some ice cream before rehearsal, would you wanna join us?"

I played with my fingers thinking about Chad and if I should go see him. Maybe I will after rehearsal. I shrugged, giving them a fake smile, "And will Grady be joining us on this journey?" I asked, looking out the door for a sign of him around.

"He's answering phone calls for Marshall," Zora laughed,

I nodded, "Alright, well. Let's go, guys."

* * *

hope you guys enjoyed it! comment to let me know you read it, so i can make more. xox


	2. Chapter 2

Chad

After the much needed meal to sober me up, I decided I should go home and face the music. History will repeat itself over and over again, but I have to do something about it. I walked up to the mirror that had been near the door, and fixed my hair. Nothing would make me look better at this point, but an attempt is a step. I pondered on the situation from seeing Sonny today, and I almost felt a little vulnerable to the subject. I grabbed my leather jacket, grabbed my pack of smokes slipping them into my pocket, and I snatched my shades from the table before leaving out the door. My keys were already in my pocket, so I think I have everything. I opened the door, proceeding out the hallway.

"Chad?" A voice questioned from behind. I sighed, not wanting to turn around, but I did steadily.

"Yes." I answered, placing my hands in my pockets of my leather jacket. It was Portlyn, looking confused as always.

"I thought you took another sick day. If you're sick, why are you here?" She asked in confusion. I rolled my eyes as she spoke her words of uncertainty.

"Just act like you didn't see me," I clicked my tongue, and turned my body from her. She stood in the same spot like an idiot, and stared at me as I walked. She always acts so dumbfounded, and astonished to things she wasn't told about. It was cute at first, but I'm really seeing the boring side of it.

I played with the keys that were in my pocket, placing my fingers on each key that was on the wheel. I licked my teeth on the inside of my mouth, as I got closer to leaving the lot. I reached in the back of my hood, pulling the black hood I had under the jacket, and putting it over my head. I needed to keep cover up if I didn't want rumours to surface the lot that I called in sick, and I'm walking around. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and it's my time to jump off. I hate to feel this way, because I'm use to feeling bulletproof and unsustainable.

Seeing Sonny's comforting eyes this morning put me in agony, and I needed to see them once more. I had to look inside of them and feel the feeling of comfort, and security. I dread to admit it, but it is the truth. Her giggly presence, and bubbly persona was something I've been craving in my life for a long time, even though I'm the complete opposite.

I opened the doors, entering the parking lot of both mine and So Randoms set. The sun was bright, and I felt no need to look up at it. My eyes still squinted under the sun glasses, and I gaped forward at my lambo, as I heard laughter from a far. It brought a delighted atmosphere, but I couldn't find the compassion to join myself into it. My eyes looked up at the group of Randoms holding Ice Cream in there hands, and laughing at some dubious joke they must of made. I looked at the ravishing, and glowing brunette beside them as she smiled naturally under the sun. I stopped in my path, and grinned to myself. I reached to my car, and opened the door as they slid open into almost a horizontal direction. I sighed, before getting into my car, and stepped in, giving one more glance at the group. Once again her presence put me in a state of protection. I hate to admit my weakness is Sonny Munroe, but I think it is. One more encounter with her, and I might just break down. Fuck.

I shut the doors of the lambo, as they both slid, and shut back into the proper arrangement. I pulled my keys out of my pocket, and deposited the keys in the ignition. I smacked my pockets, feeling for anything I may have forgot. "Fuck," I sighed, as I noticed I forgot my wallet. Should I come back and get it? Should I go now? These decisions were the base of thoughts right now. I pulled the keys out of the ignition, and sighed loudly as I opened the doors again. I shut them quickly, putting my hood back over me, and keeping my head down as I opened the front doors. I marched myself down the hallways, keeping a look at the ground. My body impacted upon another, and I could feel there weak body fall to the ground. I lifted up my hood, as I saw Sonny on the ground, alone from her cast mates. Her ice cream was face down on the dirty concrete floor of the studio. She looked at her ice cream, then me.

"Sonny, I'm sorry!" I said in a concerned, and deeply earnest voice. I put my hand out for her,

"Sorry?" She questioned, taking upon the offer of grabbing my hand, "You really must be upset. I was expecting a 'watch where you're going, random.'" She picked up the Ice Cream, throwing it into the trash, smacking her hands together to wipe off the dirt. "Thank you." She smiled,

I scratched the back of my neck, and nodded with a faint smirk, "Thank you for what? Bumping into you?" I jokingly said. I looked around in the studio, making sure no one from the lot was around.

She smiled a little, with a bit of a giggle, shaking her head, "For helping me up." she witnessed my stance, and appearance, "Hey.. Where you going?" She asked, looking into my eyes though my shades were on. She could never recognize the weakness in my eyes, and pull me through. I looked around the room,

"Just heading out. Gotta grab my wallet." I sucked my lips in, smiling a little at her,

She nodded, "Look Chad, I want you to know, if you need anyone to talk to, or just to let things out, I'm here as a friend."

Fuck. It's what I need... It truly is. "I'm good," I said in a crude voice. Immediately regretting the decision I made to decline her comfort, "Like I said, it's personal shit," It is what it is, though.

She rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms, "Look, don't be so selfish and put off my offer to help you out! You look drained and unwell, Chad." Her troubled voice stated. It even weakened me to hear her concern.

I shrugged, "Don't feel the need to Sonny things up in my life, Munroe." I put her off, stepping to the side and attempting to walk off. She put her foot down in front of me, and pulled off my shades. She looked at me in aw. I looked at her with sympathy and yearn, and I could tell she was willing to give it. I can't admit to weakness. She raised both her eyebrows in an attempt to give me one more chance to accept her offer. Her brown eyes knocked me out and threw me to the ground, putting me in my ditches, and I had to climb out, "When are you available?" I questioned her. She pulled out her phone, and I observed her luscious sexy body, as the tight dress hugged her curves. I needed the erotic touch as well as the emotional one, and I'm not too sure if she's willing to give that to me, and it's why I can't get to close.

"Well, I have rehearsals in 10 minutes. Can you come back at 5?" She asked. I sighed, knowing that I can't make any promises. I don't want to let her down.

I nodded, "I guess I could." I grabbed my shades from her hand, putting them back on my face. Her pale skin reflected onto me, and it almost felt as though it was pulling on me. I just wanted to show her the whole different side of me, that no one knows. She smiled slightly, with a twinkle in her right eye. Fuck, listen to me.. I sound like a fruit.

"Fine. Where will we meet?" She began to walk backwards in the direction of her lot, and I shrugged,

"Come to my dressing room," I chewed on my cheek as I thought about us alone, in my dressing room. She nodded,

"Fine." Sonny responded, as she walked forwards,

I smiled, "Fine." I shot out, as she kept walking. She looked back with a grin on her face.

* * *

Sonny

"Good rehearsal today Tawn!" I said merrily,

She nodded, and grinned at me, as we both headed towards the dressing room. We accessed ourselves inside, and Tawni shut the door from behind. I ripped off my check it out girls vizor and threw it into the closet that was behind my door. Tawni went straight into her dressing room, humming the tune to check it out girls as she ripped off her clothes. I smiled, as I sat down and faced the mirror. I took my hair out of its pony tail, and crossed my legs. I picked up my phone, checking out the time. 4:30. Chad should be back soon. Tawni came out in her pink robe and slippers, sitting in her chair and putting face wipes on to get rid of her make up.

"What are you doing tonight?" Asked Tawni, as she stared at me in the mirror, but proceeded to clean off her make up.

I got up from my chair, and shrugged, "My mom wanted to have a girls night with me! We were planning on getting chips and watching some romantic movies together," I lied. But that's definitely something we'd do.

"Ugh," Tawni cleared her throat, "So lame. You need to get out, Sonny."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh whatever," I began to unbutton the buttons of my check it out girls shirt, along with the zipper on the skirt. I threw off my clothes, searching for a new outfit to wear on my rack of clothes. I searched through and found a floral dress that went above the knee. it was spaghetti strap but that's why I'm adding a light red shirt under it. Some people says it's plain, but I think it's cute.

I stared at myself in the mirror, as I did so. Thinking deep in my mind about what was going on with Chad. I know nothing about his personal life, and getting into it might change the way I look at him. A sensitive side I've never seen.

After putting on my outfit, I grabbed my tote purse from the wall, putting it over my shoulder, and across my neck. I shut the curtain to the closet, and grabbed my necessities. Before leaving, I should make small talk with Tawni because it's not everyday I just up and leave after a sketch.

Tawni's face was close to the mirror and she had both her index fingers on a red blemish on her chin, she looked at it in disgust, "Sonny, how is your skin so clear?" She cried out, squeezing it.

"I don't cake my face with make up?" I questioned, giggling at her.

"I don't either!" She looked at me from the mirror, "Now, you're either going to help me pop this pimple, or you're gonna leave." She demanded.

I laughed, "I'll take the second choice," I grabbed my jacket from off the love seat, and held it in my hands before opening the door, "Alright Tawn. Good luck with that pimple, I'll see you tomorrow," I said jokingly.

She rolled her eyes, "Bitch." she was still looking at herself. Alright, I passed that level of lies.

I strolled down the hallway, reaching my arms to put them in the holes of my coat. Marshall was coming down the hallway at the oppisite direction, and I can already tell I'm going to need to socialize. You can't just pass your co-worker and not say something to them when you're leaving,

"Marshall," I nodded at him, as we passed each other. He smiled, then put his finger up,

"You busy right now, Sonny?" He stopped in his path, then put his hands in his pockets, looking at me.

I looked down the hallway, thinking about meeting chad, then bounced my knees as I made my decision, "No.. Not exactly." I shrugged.

"Good, I'm going to need you to go over some sketches with me for next week and what scenario would seem best you. I like your options, kiddo." He laughed, and shifted himself in the direction of his office, "Come on, we'll be quick."

I sighed, "Okay."

We made our way to his office, making small talk about rehearsals, and some things we could of done better. He's always rooting for us, but at the same time he always points out the littlest things. He began to ramble on about Nico and Grady and there basement sketch. I could really care less at this moment,

He pulled out the key to his office, opening the door and flicking on the lights as we entered the office. I looked around, before sitting down, then unzipped my coat. I placed it on the chair in front of me, and sat myself down. He looked through a folder. I crossed my legs, as my bottom leg shook from wanting things to hurry up.

"Hmm.." He looked through the book, and chewed on his finger as he read, "I like the sketch about dolphin boy but we've used it so much. And the sketch about Sally Jenson, teen lawyer was priceless," he laughed as he read through them, getting a kick out of everything. I rolled my eyes,

"Hey Marsh, do you happen to know the time?" I asked, eagerly.

He looked through the journal, then raised his eyes, "The time? Sonny if you don't want to be here, just let me know, I'm not trying to bore you. But this needs to get done, and we need your creative mind for a new sketch!" He indicated.

I sighed, "I think Tawni's mind is more creative than mine is today. I'm having brain farts." I laughed fakely.

"Hm." He said, looking down at the book still. A wave of awkward silence pulled upon us, but it didn't effect him as much as it effected me. I sighed loudly. He quickly snapped his fingers, looking up at me with a smirk on his face, "We should pull Chad back onto the show!" Marshall shot out as he looked at me with a smile.

I nodded slightly, with a smile attached, "I mean.. I guess we could carry on the Hottie M.T sketch," I shrugged, though I am quite eager to carry that sketch on. He flipped through the pages some more, looking for that sketch to see what he could work with. He mumbled to himself for a few moments. I leaned back in the chair, resting my cheek on my fingers,

"Moo! Mooo!" A symphony from my pocket played. It was my phone and it was getting louder, as the ringtone went on. Marshall looked at me with irritation as I sat and stared at him as the ringtone went off.

"Sonny, I would rather you get it, then have me listen to a cow mooing for the next 30 seconds." I laughed shyly, pulling my phone out from my pocket. I looked at the caller, seeing it was Chad's number. I looked at Marshall, then back at the phone. The mooing continued through the call, and I rolled my eyes,

"I've gotta take this," Marshall nodded. I looked at the phone, and got up from the seat I was in. I made my way out into the hallway, and swiped my phone open to answer. Before putting the phone against my ear, I could hear loud music and loud voices, "Hello?" I asked, pulling my ear from the phone.

"Sonny, I- I need your help," A slurred voice called out into the phone. I put my finger in my ear, blocking out noises from outside the phone call on my end.

"Chad?" I questioned, perplexed and a little suspicious,

"Sonn," He could barely finish my name, "Meet me in the parking lot," he insisted, as I could hear screeches of tires on the road, and loud beeping. My thoughts wandered quickly as to if he was drinking and driving just to see me? I stuttered before I spoke once more,

"Chad, you better not be drinking and driving." I demanded into the phone, peaking my head into Marshall's office as I could see he was side tracked enough not to hear a thing.

"I'll se-see you then," He sounded sloppy, and unfocused. The phone hung up, and went straight to the dial tone. My eyes widened, as I looked at the phone. Could he really be risking himself on the road to see me? I closed my phone, putting it in my pocket. I scratched my forehead, holding back the thoughts I wanted to vent out myself.

I made my way back into Marshall's office, grabbing my purse and coat folding it over my arm quickly, "Marshall, my mom just called and she needs me immediately," I began walking out the door, explaining myself, "She had a nice dinner planned out for her and I and she went to the bathroom for a quick second and burnt all the food, she wants me to stop at the deli before it closes so I can pick up some grocery store chicken," I smiled widely. Might I say, coming out with lies on the spot is definitely something I'm good at. I would pat myself on the back, but it isn't necessary.

"The deli doesn't close until 9 kiddo. Go ahead, we've figured out what we needed to figure out," he laughed, brushing his hand upon his head, scratching the clamminess, "Enjoy your dinner,"

I nodded, "Thanks Marshall," I smiled widely, making my way out of his office. I placed my shoulder purse over me, as well as putting my coat on. I walked rapidly through the halls, making my way out the main doors. I looked at the cars passing on the highway, as all the thoughts passed my mind. How could he be drinking and driving? All those deaths aren't a joke, and I will be lecturing him when I see him, he can guarantee that. I contemplated with myself for a majority of the journey through the plain halls.

I pushed the door open, the wind from outside pushed my hair onto my face, but I brushed it off with my fingers, holding it back. I looked around, raising my eyebrows as I observed both ends of the lot. I searched with my eyes for speeding Black Lamborghini. I crossed my arms, as the wind was powerful and pushing my hair in my face.

Sure enough I could hear loud thumps from a car. In the distance of the lot, I could see his car pull in. I walked off the platform of the entrance, crossing my arms as he pulled in closer. My eye brow was slowly elevating, and I was chewing on my lips. This better be good.

He stopped in front of me, as the car screeched along the pavement. He opened the car door, as it shifted itself open. The music was blasting. He was sloppy, and not nearly as steady as I was expecting him to be at least. Chad stumbled forward, slack jawed and holding the hood of the car for support, with a 46er of vodka in his left hand. He was wearing the same suit from this morning, and the dress shirt was unbuttoned at the top. Though I am mad at him for drinking and driving, he looks bad and ruthless. And it's kind of a turn on. He left the car running as he stepped out, and walked closer to me,

"I- I made it!" He slurred out. I grabbed the bottle of vodka, crossing my arms and looking up at him. I could only see sadness in his eyes.

"Drinking and driving?! Really!?" I threw the bottle that was 3/4's empty, and tossed it in the trash can. He looked at the bottle, then me,

"I can, can explain." He said in a sympathetic approach. I grabbed his hand, pulling him to the passengers side. He stumbled with me to the car, and sat himself down. He laid his head back immediately, putting his arm over his face, mumbling to himself,

"You're lucky you're drunk right now, or I'd honestly give you the biggest lecture Chad," I put his seatbelt on, and shut the door of the passenger side.

I made my way on the other side of the car, and entered the drivers side. I seated myself, turning down the blasting music that had been playing. I looked at the settings of his car, and sighed. My dad only taught me how to drive a stick and this is automatic. I put the gears in drive, and prepared myself. I put my seatbelt on, and looked at Chad before we drove off.

"Care to explain?" I asked,


	3. Chapter 3

"She's a fucking bitch!" He kicked the dashboard in front of him, rage in his eyes, along with sadness. He put his arms over his face again,

"Who?" I asked, puzzled and worried from the stress pouring out from him. He was getting aggressive, and raged, "Just calm down and let it out," I calmly coached him, as I looked at the road. This is a different Chad from what I'm used to. It's though it is a completely different person.

"She's g-gone, and I hope s-she never comes back!" Chad said, his words tumbling out of his mouth in a slow distinguishable voice. He mumbled insults about this mystery person, and I tried to add it up but couldn't shape it. He reached in the glove compartment, pulling out pack of Marlboros. He ripped the pack open impatiently and pulled out a smoke. Chad wrapped his lips around the white filter, and looked forward in sorrow at the stick. The street lights reflected off him continuously. His bare chest gripped my attention as his buttoned were loosened and his shirt was wrinkled. My attention was drawn to him, looking at him slightly shifting my eyes to the corner. His rugged good looks got the best of me, along with his messy hair, and the smoke that hung from his lips as he searched for a lighter,

I attempted my focus back at the paid road as we drove. He lit his smoke, and inhaled the cancer stick slowly and steadily. He looked out the window, and rested his elbow upon the door, where he had been supporting his head with the palm of his hand.

"What happened?" I asked softly, looking at him ever so often as I kept my eyes forward.

Chad stared at the road, inhaling the cigarette once again. He exhaled slightly, beginning to speak, "It's m-my mom," He stuttered to speak. I raised an eyebrow. His mother? I looked off in confusion, and looked back at him, signalling I was still attended into listening, he sighed weakly, wiping the corners of his mouth with his thumb and finger.

Chad

After Sonny had left, so did her cheery and positive up beat vibe. I found myself back into a dark mind filled state, and I was saddened again. I picked up my wallet quickly and made my way out the building. My tired eyes looked up at the sun before entering my car. The sun used to cheer me up when I was a kid. I would just look out the window, and feel better. I seated myself in the drivers seat, and put the key in the car. I made my way out of the parking lot, as a air of melancholy surrounded me, and I found myself go into a deep thought through my drive home.

I could feel something was coming up, because everyday something does. Thing's at home have gotten worse, and worse. My eyes travelled the road as they paced from my rear-view mirror, to my side mirrors. My phone shot out an orchestra of tunes. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, and observed the message flashing on my screen. Scarlett?

Scar: Chad, mom is a mess and I can't be home right now. Go check on her.

I sighed, pressing my phone off. Of course. You'd think having a sister who's seen as much as you have would understand these things with you, but of course she's 15 and full of selfish hormones. She'd rather be out than keep our mother clean. Of course I have to take care of things on my own when I have a huge career ahead of me, and they both free load from me. I began to grind my teeth, dwelling more on my situation. I turned on the radio, rotating the volume to it's highest.

I was close to home, and I gripped the steering wheel, as I turned down the long stretch of the road I lived on. I observed the long road, cozied with a big forest, and big trees. I like my neighbourhood, I like how peaceful it is. But home is not where I want to be at this time. I'd rather spend my nights intoxicated with something. I pulled it into my driveway, lighting up a smoke as I pulled in. I looked forward,seeing the door opened a quarter of the way. I raised my eyebrow, in confusion. My mind began to wander. I quickly parked my car, pulling the keys out the ignition and putting them in my pocket. I stepped out the car, inhaling deeply on the cigarette as I observed my home, feeling my keys in my pocket as I had them placed in there. I began walking toward the house.

I held the railing of the wooden steps to my door, and pushed it open. It creaked as it did so. I could already tell the house was empty of her presence, and I felt a drop in my stomach. An ash tray was broken across the floor, along with cigarette butts spread through the living room. A fight I presume? I inhaled the last of my cigarette, dropping it on the ground and stepping over it as I could see more evidence. I could tell this day was coming. A weekends worth of liquored emptied at the table, along with a broken bottle of cognac on the floor. I observed the white powder on the granite counters that I had purchased for her for being 3 years sober. The counters, not the coke. A weakened laugh trickled out of my mouth. I dabbed my finger on it, and put it on my tongue. I don't even want to go through the rest of this because I know being gone it was most likely used as for her friends.

I opened the fridge door, seeing a 40 of liquor untouched, and calling my name. I grabbed it, and twisted the cap open. I glanced my for a cup, before seeing a lined, folded piece of paper with "Chad," written across it. It looked like it had been carelessly put together, and it was a fast process. I grabbed it, and pulled a chair over to the dining room table, as I sipped the vodka from the bottle. I folded it open, and attempted to read it. The writing was sloppy, and page was dripped on with some sort of liquid,

'Chad,  
Being sober isn't easy. It never was. I hit my breaking point and you know that, and I need to be away for a while. Take care of your sister. Sorry about the mess,' Tears fought through my eyes, as I read it, 'I love you, but I am no longer strong enough to stay clean. The passing of your father still gets to me, even though it was 12 years ago and I know if he was here, I would be a better mother to you. I see you look at me in disappointment everyday since I relapsed 4 weeks ago. Instead of supporting me you belittled me and left me for days, It's best if I leave for a while. Sometimes in life bad things need to happen before good comes along. Love Mom. Xo"

I knocked back a quarter of the bottle while reading this letter, feeling a torture of pain hit me. She never did think of her words before she said them, and that's why scar is so distant. I stood up from the chair, and crumpled the the letter in front of me. My teeth clenched as I did so, and I wanted to smash something. I grabbed an empty glass bottle of liquor off the table, throwing it against the wall. I did the same with another. And then another, until all the bottles were gone, and my house was covered in glass. I sighed at what I created. I found myself experiencing a manic outburst alone, and I couldn't stop. I just wanted someone to help me and tell me it was going to get better. Her words stabbed me, and it surely will leave me in torture.

I grabbed the 40, and took a long sip as I walked to the counter, I leaned over, exiting my lips from the bottle. I scrounged up the rest of the crushed up rock of coke that had been sitting there. I plugged my nostril, sniffing every last bit that had been on the table. I wiped my nose, sniffling a few times before it had adjusted in me. I pulled out my phone, calling up a friend of mine who deals coke. I sighed as I dial up the number, listening to the dial tone.

"James Conroy here, sup?" He asked, sounding busy. Yes James deals coke.

I rubbed my eyes, thinking before I spoke, I then sipped at the 40, "Hey dude. You got a gram I can get off you?"

He laughed on the other side of the phone, as I heard his lips grin, "Hm, so Chad Dylan Cooper gets angry at me for doing coke on his set of Mackenzie Falls but NOW, that he needs it, he expects me to just jump in my car and bring it to him, hmm-" I rolled my eyes,

"Dude this is L.A I can find other shit, 1. I don't need it, I want it, and 2nd. I don't expect you to jump in your car, you're the first person I thought of, so get the fuck off your high horse," I slurred these words out, attempting to sound confident in my choice of words,

"Just cause you make a point, I will come." He replied, I could hear annoyance in his voice.

I shook my head, "Nah dude, I'll come there. I don't want really want to be at my house right now anyways," I observed all the broken glass on the ground that I had just did. I walked around the house as my shoes crushed the glass. I grabbed the crumpled up letter, and put it in my back pocket. I wiped my nose

"Whatever man, you know where I live. 45th of Jefferson," He hung up. I shut my phone, keeping in the back of my head that I was still seeing Sonny tonight. A bit of tickles in my stomach trickled inside of me as the thought of her entered my brain. I'll buy some white, and just leave. I won't screw this up.

I slammed the door behind me, holding my 40 and keys in my hand. I locked the door, turning the knob for confirmation it was locked, and made my way to car. I sipped at the liquor every couple minutes, my feet dragging on the ground. I could feel it kicking in already because of how fast I had been drinking it. I turned the key in the ignition, and put myself in gear for backup. I didn't attempt to look at the rear view mirror, nor did I attempt to look at the side one either. Pulling out of my driveway, without any attempt to look for traffic. The tires screeched loudly along the road as I pulled out, and switched my gears. I exceeded driving down the road. I began to drive carelessly, without caution of the road. I know it's a bad idea, but the adrenaline definitely has taken a toll on me. I closed my eyes as I sipped the vodka. It burned through my throat. The burn is more of a pleasurable feeling when I am this upset.

I made my way out of the suburbs, and back into the city. By this time, I could see my 40 was just about empty. 'Wow' I slurred out, looking at the bottle in amazement. I don't recall drinking this so quickly, then again, I never do. That's definitely something I shouldn't brag about either. I looked at the road, as I then felt the spins come on. I didn't notice it until I looked at the bottle. I've got this. 45th of Jefferson. Jefferson is just past this road. I opened the window, as the breeze hit my face.

"Jefferson," I slurred out , and repeated a few times to myself. I crave the presence of Sonny right now, hate to admit it, but ever since she spoke to me, I haven't gotten her out of my head. OK I have to stop, my mind is wandering and I am going fall out of focus. Ah Jefferson, here it is. I turned down the road, and projected my focus on the houses. 1 - 13 - 20 - 30 - 40,

I slowed the car down, and found house 45. I pulled in the driveway, holding my hand on the horn. The horn was loud, and echoing through his neighbour hood, and I began to laugh. I pulled the keys out of the ignition, and I opened the doors of the Lambo, grabbing my 40. The front door of the house opened, and James came out of the house. I leaned on the back of my car slightly while proceeding make my way up to his steps. He eyebrow was raised, as he walked down the stairs observing me.

He stopped in front of me, but I continued to walk forward up the stairs, "Chad man, you look a mess. What's up bro?" He asked, following from behind me. I tripped walking up the stairs, but saved my fall with my hand. I laughed,

"Everyone keeps asking that, I'm fine dude." We walked into the house, I grabbed the wall for support. I walked toward the living room, plopping myself down onto the couch. I chugged my 40, as he shut the front door, and walked into the living room. I dropped the liquor onto the table, pulling out some cash I had inside the pocket of my jacket. He observed me, sitting on the couch before me, interlocking his hands together as he watched me, he shrugged as he watched, then reached in front of him in a shelf, pulling out a bag of white powder. I eyed the bag,

"Chad, this is a selfish drug," He looked at me, standing up with the bag, and beginning to lecture, "and I know you have your issues and I won't ask, but I know you've never been one to do it when your trying to run away from something." I know this is a selfish drug. I know that this is a mistake. I know that going down this path will kill my career, but I feel this emptiness in my stomach that I need to fill with void.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm a paying customer, James." I stated with an aggressive attitude along with regret in the back of my words.

He sighed, sitting back down on the couch in front of me. He pulled out the scale, and set up the equipment to weight it up. I sat back on the couch, grabbing ahold of my liquor. I held it in my hand, as he weighed it up,

"A gram, right?" He confirmed. I nodded, sipping the bottle as he finished up. He passed me the baggy, and I passed him $80. I flicked the bag, looking at all the white crystals spread inside. I leaned myself up from the couch, opening the dime bag. I poured a good amount out on the coffee table, grabbing a credit card that had been on it. I gathered it up with the card, and attempted to make a long line. As I did this I thought deeply about my Mom.. I feel her torturing me without her doing anything. I thought about how careless she is. I think about when she was sober, and little did she know, so was I.

I got off the couch, leaning on my knees as I snorted the line off the coffee table. I could see James watching me from the corner of my eye. I wiped my nose when I was done, shaking my head quickly, "Woo!" I yelled out, standing up rapidly and shaking myself off. I then felt a strike of lightning go through me and I felt very awake, but still drunk. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, seeing the time and how quickly it had gone by

"4:30," I said to myself, looking at the phone. All these events made time pass so quick, and it was almost time to meet Sonny. I've been looking forward to it all day, now if I can just bring my focus to doing so ..

"Yeah dude, you gotta be somewhere?" James asked, as he picked up his controller from the table, and turned on his game set up,

I nodded, sipping my drink, as I stood myself up, grabbing the dime bag of coke, and putting it in my inside pocket of my jacket, "Hey m-man, do you have a bathroom?" I asked, keeping myself at a stance as my legs gave out ever so often. I haven't looked at myself in the mirror in quite some time, and showering was a plan of mine before leaving home, but home didn't feel like home any longer.

He nodded, "Down the hall," He pointed to a the left of the hallway. I placed my bottle down, and stumbled myself to the bathroom. I leaned against the wall when I found it, and spread my hand across the wall to find the light switch. I turned on the light, as the bright line and fan turned on. I squinted my eyes, as I looked at myself in the mirror. I sighed, wiping the powder off the top of my lip. I turned on the tap to a warm setting, and leaned on my shoulder because I didn't have the strength to stand myself up. I splashed the water in my face. I turned off the tap, and dabbed a towel on my face. It didn't change the fact my skin was blotchy, my eyes were buggin' out, and my posture was off wildly.

I shut the light off in the bathroom, patting down my pockets and making sure everything I had was on me. I was in a deep focus, and I'm going to presume it's the coke. I made my way down his thin hallway, and waltzed myself back into the living room. He glanced at me, with confusion. I grabbed my liquor, and turned around,

"Wait, you're not actually thinking of driving are you!?" He asked, sitting up from playing one of his games. I shrugged, looking at him carelessly.

"What's it to you?" I asked, failing to keep a straight position,

He shook his head, "I hope whatever you're dealing with, blows over soon. Be safe dude," He assured me,

I laughed loudly, attempting to click my tongue at him before leaving. That was the usual Chad thing to do. I opened the door to the outside, and pulled my phone out. I went to Sonny's contact number, and pressed on her name. I stumbled down the steps, with my phone in one hand and my bottle in the other. I reached in my pocket, and I pressed a button on my keys to open the door before I got there. I hopped inside the car, and started it. I shut the door, and looked back at my phone. I stared at it puzzled for a moment, then continued the task I was doing. I dialed' Sonny's number, and turned on the radio. It began to ring, so I put it on speaker, and backed out of the driveway,

A pause came to the phone, and her sweet symphony of a voice answered, "Hello?" She asked,

"Sonny, I- I need your help" I slurred out. My eyes were weakened, as I stared at the road, and I became a little worried.

"Chad?" She asked, confused. She sounded busy, and I regret calling her already.

"Sonn," My tongue held back the rest of my words, "Meet me in the parking lot," I demanded, as I drove recklessly down the highway. Thankfully James didn't live far from here, so it wasn't much of a drive, and less of a risk of a DUI.

"Chad, you better not be drinking and driving!" I heard her confusion on the other end. I could already hear a lecture coming my way, but I'll admit I'm excited for it.

I smiled, "I-I'll see you the-n," I hung the phone up, as it dropped out of my hand and under my seat. I cleared my throat obnoxiously and placed my finger on the knob of the volume, turning the music up louder. This gave me motivation to get there at a faster time. I took a small sip of the vodka, before entering the lot.

I bolted into the entrance, and saw in the distance a brunette standing at the doors, the wind was pushing her hair into her face. As I got closer, she looked more displeased. Her arms crossed, and her lips perched. I pulled closer to the scene, and slammed on my breaks in front of her. The car screeched as I stopped, and she stood in front of my car. She looked at me from the front window, but I knew I had to explain myself somehow. I opened the doors, stumbling forward as I made my way towards her, the last sip of my vodka was what I was going to enjoy,

"I made i-it!" I slurred out in a reassuring voice.

"Drinking and driving though? Really Chad?!" She grabbed the bottle, and tossed it in the trash can located behind her. I looked at in sorrow, then back at her.

Oh no. I've upset her. The one person I trust with everything I'm about to pour out is upset with me, and It's of course my fault, "I-I I can explain." I said sympathetically. She grabbed my hand, pulling my unsteady self toward the other side of the car. She opened the door, and placed me inside. I sat in the seat, covering my head with my arms, and speaking in tongues.

"You're lucky you're drunk right now, or I'd honestly be giving you the biggest lecture right now Chad," Her hand slid across my waist, and it aroused me a little. I peaked at her, as she was putting on my seat belt. She shut the door, and walked across the car, making her way to the drivers side. She plopped herself in, and observed the settings of the car. She fixed the gears, and the seat, along with the mirrors as well.

"Care to explain?" She asked,

I found myself build up with anger as she asked me, and I kicked the dashboard in front of me as she began to drive. I clenched my teeth, and tightened my eyes as I thought about it, and my stomach turned thinking about what she's done to me, "She's a fucking bitch!" I yelled out.

She flinched as I did so, looking at me with confusion, "Who?" I could sense she wanted to help me.

I looked toward the road, "S-She's gone, a-and I hope she never comes back," I said in a weakened voice. I thought about the situation and it saddened me all over again. I just wish my life was different. I sat up from my chair, and reached into the glove compartment. I opened a new pack of Marlboros, opening the pack anxiously. I pulled a cigarette out, and placed it in my mouth. It hung from my lip as I searched the car for a light. I could see Sonny's eyes pacing back at me and the road. I could tell she feels the same tension I do.

I found myself a light, and I lit up my smoke, resting my head on the window beside me. I placed my elbow on it, and put my chin in the palm of my hands.

She attempted to ask once more, "What happened, Chad?"

I inhaled my cigarette, looking out into the distance of the road, I sighed, exhaling my smoke, "It's m-my mom, Munroe ..." Sonny's eye brow raised, as she brought her full focus to me. I wiped the corners of my mouth with my fingers, and I inhaled my cigarette before speaking some more,

"I was about 6 years old when my dad passed away. He was my motivation to be who I am today. He passed from a liver, and kidney failure," I looked out the window, as my weakened eyes were feeling heavy, "When he passed, my mom took it very hard. Don't get me wrong, we all did. Me and my sister Scar, especially. She was 3 when it happened. My mom found herself going down a dark path of drug abuse. It was hard for me to work as an actor on tv shows without my mother embarrassing me off set, or showing up to my auditions stoned out of her tree. May I remind you this was all happening when I was 6 - 8. When this became a daily occurrence, my manager decided that it was best if we didn't include my mom into my successful situations in my life. But who doesn't want there mom to be there when good things happen?" I asked, putting my feet on the dashboard, and looking out the window. I inhaled, "Over the years it got harder. She became jealous of the money I was making, and she couldn't keep a steady job. I was featured in a lot of movies, but she was never involved," I sighed, "So because of this, one day something was triggered in my mom's head that I should be giving her 50 % of my income that I had been making for myself. There's been so many nights where she's told me I've done nothing for her, and I believe it. I don't think about what I have done, because she never thinks about it either. I got into a bad habit of drinking her alcohol so she wouldn't do it anymore, and that's when I found myself beginning to drink it almost every night." My eyes glanced over at Sonny, as her expression was easy to read. It was definitely heartache, "I joined Mackenzie Falls at 16 and things really turned out for me. I had a good income, and I was getting more famous. I liked that. So did my Mom. Things began to turn up, and her addictions were being dealt with in rehab because we agreed on checking her in. Scarlett and I and My mom were actually happy for once. I was my happiest for the past 3 - 4 years. Just 4 weeks ago, she relapsed after those strong 4 years. So did I. She never knew about my problem.. No one did. And I am still trying to keep it that way.. So when we found out she relapsed, it was Scar who found her in the bathroom, puncturing her skin with a needle. Scarlett had to see that, and she's only 15. She shouldn't have to see what I had to see. So after we found out and confronted her, she went on a rampage, and went back to her old ways. Long nights of no phone calls. She disappeared for days, men would be hitting her when she invited them over. I know that because I've had to kick there asses when there there trying to hurt my mom," I bit my bottom lip, reaching my hand down in my back pocket. I pulled out the crumpled up letter, unfolding it and fixing the creases. I sighed looking at it, "I found this letter today when I went home from being gone for a couple days," I inhaled breathe through my nose, and and exhaled through my mouth. I held back the anger I wanted to let out.

Sonny looked at me, pulling over onto a soft shoulder onto the highway. She put the car in park, and shifted her body towards me. She turned on the light of the car, and looked at me taken aback, as her elbow leaned upon the seat, and she looked at me as I spoke. She looked at the letter in my hands, and then looked back into my eyes, "Read the letter, Chad."

I looked at her with a wretched glare, looking back down at the letter, "I-" I looked at the letter, then shook my head, crumpling it back up, and squeezing it tightly, "Sonny I don't know where she is. I don't know if she's on a binge journey, I don't know if she's going to kill herself slowly, I don't know why she chose the drugs now when we were doing so well. I don't want to read the letter to anyone, least of all, you! I read this letter and I snorted a line because it made me feel so bad. And after I did that, I immediately wanted more. And I did get more, and I don't have a mother any more to look at me in disappointment because she's probably somewhere across the country by now anyways. FUCK!" I became belligerent. I kicked the dashboard again, clenching my teeth. I had anger I had to let out, but when I look at her, I want to let it out in a more connected, sensual way.

She observed me with fret, seeing my thoughts wander as I looked around the car, "Chad listen to me! I believe that you have a lot of built up anger from your past, and now this present time. And I know hurting yourself or screaming to the rooftops seems like it's going to help, but it's not. Neither is coke..." she put her hand on my leg for support. Fuck.. My sexual frustration is real right now, "I am willing to be your friend in this and be there anytime you need someone to scream at, cry too, anything in between," choose your words wisely Munroe, I'm a vulnerable 18 year old who is deeply attracted to your presence, "Can I just say, it's not as though you're torturing yourself reading this letter to me, but your inviting me into a very personal part of your life that I am now experiencing with you, so leaving these big things out is hard for me to connect with you, Chad." She smirked at me, with her big brown eyes. I can't ruin this friendship we've just created.. It might be good for me.

I looked at the letter, sliding my fingers through my hair, as I read it out to her. I was already in the middle, and my voice began to crack, as I hit that one line that triggered me, "instead of supporting me, you belittled me and left me for days," I swallowed my spit loudly, clearing my throat. I put the letter down, putting my hand upon my head. I covered my eyes as they filled up with a warm liquid. I heard the click of a seatbelt unbuckle, but I kept my head down. Warm legs wrapped around my lap, and Sonny's arms began to wrap around my cold, weak body. She hugged me tight. I was taken by such surprise, it put me in an even more emotional state. The loving touch of someone was something I haven't experienced in a very long time. And from Sonny, it made me feel safe. I hugged her back, and squeezed my eyes onto her shoulder. I slid my fingers through her long hair that connected down her back, and I felt a warm feeling come over my heart. I didn't want alcohol, or drugs If I had this.


End file.
